Truth in Advertising
By David E McCarty, MD, FAASM (but you can call me Dave)
There is only one way to see things until someone shows us how to look at them with different eyes.
--Pablo Picasso
Two years ago, I quit my job and decided to write a book. Seized in a tarlike morass of professional burnout, I’d decided it was finally time to write down all the lessons I’d learned, all the coaching I’d collected, and I made the dizzying decision to leave clinical practice, ostensibly giving me all the time in the world to make it perfect.
All the time in the world to make it perfect. Let’s just analyze that statement, for a moment.
CUE PACMAN DEATHKNELL SOUND EFFECT FOLLOWED BY A SIMPERING TROMBONE
That supposition nearly killed the project. Leaving my job, you see, forced me to confront a strange and powerful demon called Perfectionism. You’ve heard of him, I’m sure.
People throw around this term as if it’s a good thing. “I guess I’m a perfectionist!” is code for self-congratulations, a way of agreeing with everybody that your work is truly exceptional. During job interviews, we were coached to admit this as a desirable “flaw.” The internet pop sensation Will Jay made PERFECTIONIST the title of his most recent album.
The Vice Principal in the Hallway of Life
Perfectionism.
Here’s a pro tip: if you want to suck the life out of everything that you do, try telling yourself that you’re going to make it perfect. Perfectionism is a killjoy. Perfectionism is no fun at all. Perfectionism kills optimism, creativity, and exploration.
Perfectionism is the Vice Principal in the hallway of life.
Perfectionism whispers in your ear when you’re trying to fall asleep, telling you vile things about your worth, your skills, your resources.
Perfectionism kills.
I’ve got good news for you, though, Life Fans! The good news about perfectionism that no one tells you about is that it doesn’t own you. On the contrary: You invented it.
And that means you can walk away from it.
I might add that the walking away from it may be the most exhilarating, emancipating, exciting and enlivening thing I’ve ever done.
Choices, Man! What stories will I pay attention to? Which narratives will I emphasize? What whispered voices will I listen to? What stories will I tell?
There’s an ebullient glee that bubbles up somewhere in the middle of the stomach and settles in the chest, which spontaneously arises when you realize that it’s OK to be a beginner, OK to approach the world from a place of joy and wonder, OK to suck at stuff.
The emotion is so distinct, so seismic, surely it must have a name? Something wonderfully Germanic like Schadenfreude. If so, I’ve yet to run across it. Perhaps we’ll need to let it rest with wonder.
As usual, all of this is a preamble for today’s cartoon, which goes out to the dear souls who wanted to get up and sing at Karaoke, but decided to listen to their inner perfectionist and wait it out.
The time is now. Go do some stuff that you suck at.
Life’s more fun that way.
Happy Thursday, Life Fans!
Truth in Advertising
Post-Script 25 Nov 2022:
I ran across this article in The Economist, and it’s a highly-worthy deep-dive into the flavors of discomfort that can ride along with the habit of perfectionism. If this essay spoke to you in a small way, it’s worth a spin:
Cohen, J. The Perfectionism Trap. The Economist. Aug 10, 2021. Accessed online 25 Nov 2022. https://www.economist.com/1843/2021/08/10/the-perfectionism-trap